Tried & Proven – Episode 187
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Featuring: Carol King
Published: October 26, 2019
Carol King served as a caregiver for her husband, Hugh, during his journey with Non-Hodgkin Lymphoma. He is now 10 years cancer free. She spoke with Rev. Percy McCray about what she learned as a caregiver that she now passes onto those caring for loved ones with cancer.
Fear initially controlled Carol King as she processed the news of her husband’s cancer diagnosis. “I had to learn not to be afraid to do and seek what was best for Hugh.” Her first step included learning as much as she could about the cancer. She sought information from dependable resources such as the care team, rather than look at endless websites or listen to well-meaning friends who offered opinions.
She then asked herself three questions: What is this cancer? How can I fight it? Who do I trust with this? They chose the care team at CTCA and depended on their expertise. When friends offered strong opinions about what treatment they should pursue, Mrs. King responded with kindness. “I would thank the person because they mean well. but I would also let them know ‘Right now, the only person that I really want to listen to is his care team.’”
Rev. Percy McCray asked Mrs. King to offer advice for current caregivers and she said, “”Learn to communicate, to be honest. Express. Don’t be afraid to let your spouse, your mom, your dad, whoever your patient is, know that you’re scared. If you need to cry, cry. That is the time when you will draw closer together.”
Hugh and Carol King’s time journeying through cancer strengthened their marriage, their faith, and the faith of others. Hugh decided early on, “Cancer will not make anything of my life. I will make something of my life with cancer.”
- “Cancer makes you realize who you are. What you are.”
- “We would deal with people that…wouldn’t know how to talk to us…out of fear…and, at first, that hurts, that stuns you. And then God helped you understand — they’re going through the same fear that I went through.”
- “Our faith, of course, is what got us through this. We knew God was in control.”